Wheel Windsheild

Wheel Windsheild

Humor: Joys of a Used Car

My 1988 VW is not just a used car. It is also a previously abused car. There's bits of airconditioner left bolted on in the engine compartment with big gaps where the working bits should have been. My mechanic tells me that the engine's got piston slap, and needs a major transplant. My kids tell me that if I gave them the car for free, they would still walk.

Which isn't a bad idea. They need to get some exercise and fresh air.

But hey, there are some advantages in owning a beat up relic of a bygone era. For one thing, I don't fear shopping trolleys banging into my car, or people opening their car doors onto my car, because it actually makes it look better. Knocks some of the rust off as well. Putting the gearlock on is like locking up your used teabags. I mean, who wants the thing anyway? If a thief steals my car, it's his own fault. He musn't come crying to me when all his robber buddies laugh at him, and the thing squirts oil on his freshly stolen shoes. And when the starter motor drops out on the freeway, that's not my fault. The car forgot long ago what a freeway is anyway. It shakes too much at speed, and I can't hold the steering wheel. When it sees an on ramp, it says "Let's not go there!"

In between all the body filler and rust nestles little oases of virgin metal. Where these are is not known to man, but they must be there or I'm sure the car would collapse like a pile of dry sand. With no airconditioner, I would normally open the window on hot days, if the window winder hadn't broken off. Luckily the rust holes provide quite a lot of ventilation. In rainy weather I use a small mop to clean the rainwater off the inside of the windsheild. Otherwise it drips on my feet.

I took the car in last week to see what I could get as a trade in. It was quite funny looking at the saleman's expression as it changed. "Where is your car sir?" "Uh, it's that VW over there, that dirty cream colored one." "Oh. Uh... Oh I see. Have you tried the scrap dealers, sir?" "Yes I have, but they say it's mostly body putty and filler, so there's not much metal to sell..." At this point the conversation becomes somewhat predictable, as the salesman suddenly remembers a previous engagement and disappears from view.

Well, at least I have no onboard computers to worry about. Or electric windows. Or windows. The windows are there, but that's about it. I don't have to worry about getting puffed up with pride. And speeding fines are only a distant fantasy. Hitch hikers put down their thumbs when I approach, and then put them up again for the garbage truck that is trying to overtake me.

I'm thinking of selling the car, so if you want it you gonna have to be quick. I may decide I like a car with character, and change my mind!

 

About the Author

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Duncan Kelly

Windshield Plastic Upper Door Seals by Rugged Ridge $28.99 1987-95 YJ Wrangler;Black;Screws on to inside lip of windsheild frame;Sold as a pair

Garmin Windsheild Mounting Bracket $24.99 010-10361-00 GARMIN eTrex series GPS Handheld Satellite Navigator Got a funky, contoured dash that won't allow you to mount your eTrex? The solution: our suction cup mount. Stick the mount to the inside of your windshield or window and snap your eTrex into place. The bracket is jointed, so you can adjust to your heart's content and get the unit out of direct sunlight. GPS Garmin Garmin, Ltd Mounting Bracket Windsheild Mounting Bracket www.garmin.com

81730 - Windsheild/Gls Silicone $12.35 [1907724] UPC: 686226817303 8.6L x 7.76W x 5.71H 0.17 LB 0.22 Cubes

Windshield Plastic Upper Door Seals by Rugged Ridge for Jeep $28.99 1987-95 Jeep YJ Wrangler;Black;Screws on to inside lip of windsheild frame;Sold as a pair JEEP WRANGLER (87-95YJ) ISLANDER LAREDO RENEGADE RIO GRANDE S SAHARA SE SPORT 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 2.5L (150) 4.2L (258) 4L Power Tech (242) GAS Windshield Plastic Upper Door Seals by Rugged Ridge for Jeep

Arkon CMP114 Camera and Video Recorder Windsheild and Dashboard Mount $35.37 Designed to attach to car s windshield or sit atop car s dashboard. Ideal for use with photography or video recorder applications designed for use in the car. Compatible with most lightweight cameras or video recorders with the industrystandard .25 20 threaded screw pattern. Includes travelmount mini windshield suction pedestal circular adhesive dashboard mounting disc

Arkon Cmp114 Camera Video Recorder Windsheild Dashboard Mount $34.71 DESIGNED TO ATTACH TO CAR S WINDSHIELD OR SIT ATOP CAR S DASHBOARD. IDEAL FOR USE WITH PHOTOGRAPHY OR VIDEO RECORDER APPLICATIONS DESIGNED FOR USE IN THE CAR. COMPATIBLE WITH MOST LIGHTWEIGHT CAMERAS OR VIDEO RECORDERS WITH THE INDUSTRYSTANDARD .25 20 THREADED SCREW PATTERN. INCLUDES TRAVELMOUNT MINI WINDSHIELD SUCTION PEDESTAL CIRCULAR ADHESIVE DASHBOARD MOUNTING DISCUPC : 047407921149Shipping Dimensions : 6.20in X 4.25in X 3.00inEstimated Shipping Weight : 0.4762

WHEEL $2 WHEEL

RX1; Wheel-To-Wheel Step Bar $540.99 RX1; Wheel-To-Wheel Step Bar; Black;

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RBP Nerf/Step Bar Wheel-To-Wheel $540.99 Nerf/Step Bar Wheel-To-Wheel; Black;